Let’s Play Alleycat! 
Ah Retrober/Retrotober, some of my first video game memories. We had this game on our olllld computer… 386 maybe. Something like that. Anyway what a simple but fun game. I probably sound older every time I say it, but I love games that you can pick up and easily play. I’m so lazy and uninterested in learning new control schemes for so many games these days, I admittedly feel like an old man just saying that. But if it’s a game with dozens of hotkeys and shortcuts, then it’s likely that I won’t give it much of a look. You should be able to make a game in which fun can be derived from just a few buttons. Okay, rant over.
Let’s Play Alleycat:
The goal is to get your alleycat laid, and not just once, but as many times as possible. The game doesn’t have an ending so much as it’s just encouraged that you get laid as many times as possible on your compliment of lives. You get laid by first commpleting one of five minigame levels.
These include: eating all the rats in a giant block of cheese someone just keeps in their apartment, grabbing three lamps from on top of a bookshelf while avoiding a deadly giant spider, drinking all of the milk or water from an apartment without waking up the irresponsible number of dogs the owner keeps, knocking over a birdcage and subsequently eating the bird, and jumping into a deceptively large fishbowl and eating all of the fish while avoiding deadly eels.
There are also other obstacles, including an angry dog who runs across the screen from time to time who will take a life if you run into him because apparently a cat NEVER wins a skirmish with a dog, and an annoying broom which exists to knock you onto the floor/into the dog or out the window.
Once you clear the minigame, you get to go to the trippy heart floor and have to avoid a bunch of jealous cat-cock blocking cats to reach your love on the highest heart shelf. The more times you get it on, the large your irresponsible litter becomes which is where your satisfaction is derived. Good innovative classic.